I have always hated the phrase, “He/She is nice.” Maybe some people want that said of them, but I thought of it as kind of an insult. Here is what nice is:

  • You are a “Yes man/woman.” Sure you are dependable, but you just can’t seem to use the word “No.” No is not in your vocabulary, so you end up doing a lot of things you don’t want to do. You also end up taking time away from what is important to you because you said yes one too many times.
  • You’re a pleaser. You couldn’t possibly handle it if you upset someone because you disagreed with them. So in the mean time you end up doing things you really don’t want to do. You get coffee at the corner gas station because you didn’t let anyone know that you would really like the coffee from Starbucks.
  • You are afraid of offending or irritating people so you never voice your opinions. You agree with someone and back down even if you don’t agree. You just want to be nice and please everyone.
  • You say things you don’t mean. You tell people that their new outfit looks great even if it doesn’t.

I know there have been times in my life that I have been known as “nice,” but being nice really covers up who I really am. It hides who I am, hides my opinions, and nobody gets to see who I really am. I believe if you live as a “nice guy/girl” that you can miss out on some great opportunities and relationships because no one knows the real you.

I am not saying to be selfish and live a self-centered life, I think being nice is selfish because you keep your true self from the world. If you live as the “nice guy/girl” you may never get that opportunity you have been looking for. If you cover yourself up by playing nice you may find yourself unhappy and resentful, because no one knows you. It will take you a while to realize that.

Be Real

I spent a lot of time in my life, mainly my high school years, trying to be a “nice” guy. I had no idea that at points it was making me unhappy. A lot of people that know me know that I always like a good debate and I am a pretty original character, but for the most part that is not what most of the world saw. I began to realize that the “nice” guy act was not helping, people want to know the real you and not an act.

When I am gone from this earth, I do not want to be remembered as nice. In fact, if I leave here like that, no one except my family will remember me. People would say, “I didn’t know him that well, but he was a really nice guy.”

When people remember me I want them to know who I was and what I stood for. I want them to know what I was passionate about and that I lived for a purpose. I hope people know that I cared, and that I was deeply rooted in my faith. I want people to know that I valued my marriage over any other relationship (personal or business) on this earth. I want people to know that I loved Disney Theme Parks and Disney Movies. I want them to know that for some reason I really like Batman. I hope they know where I stood on political issues whether or not they agreed with me.

For a politically correct world, that may sound strange or uncomfortable. However, they will respect me because I wasn’t someone that I was not. I didn’t hide under the guise of being a “nice guy.” We need more people that aren’t afraid to “Live Out Loud.” That is how you find your purpose, because your start living your passions.

The point is simple. We are here for an adventure. We are not here for ourselves, we are here to be guides. We are here to help people find their purpose and guide others along the adventure. We are to take them on the ride so they can learn to take others on the ride. That’s why you need to be real instead of nice. “Live Out Loud” and live out your passions and purpose. You were created for more than being nice.